"To the days when the darkest of room,
wasn’t darker than my own thoughts.
When I chose chaos over silence,
Because silence anyways offered chaos to my thoughts.
(the only difference being that chaos by others didn’t bother me the way my thoughts did.)” That's how my loneliness makes me feel. Sometimes it slides in my blanket in the middle of the night and sometimes it comes to me as shivers/goosebumps while I am crowded with people. Sometimes it's a blessing in disguise which allows me to see sides of me I never knew existed and sometimes it is as horrifying as seeing yourself die. It tip-toes and pinches me till I don't cry. It is like finding a tree in sunny weather but without leaves. It makes the transparent glass between me and, my loved ones opaque, restraining the love, care, affection, and all those feelings that could help me break the walls of loneliness. It's like the air. I can't see it but I can feel its existence, slowly choking me till I confide myself in my room. Ummm. Let me fill the loopholes of loneliness with self-love and self-care. Let me restrict the social idea of being alone not chance the time I spend with myself for self-growth.