Part and parcel of life
I wonder how it’s always about the words we could not say, the thoughts that never crossed our mind, the letters we wrote but never posted and the letters we never wrote because all of it just felt worthless. It felt as if no matter how much ever you try and crib for things to get back to being “perfect”, it will never be enough. There will be sleepless nights, days when you will lose your appetite, weeks when you will isolate yourself especially from the people who love you and whom you love, times when you will find yourself in the constant state of survival, vulnerable, exhausted, burnt out but you are still trying to keep up with yourself and your life. That’s the part where it comes to testing how much you can do in order to save yourself. When any one part of our life falls apart, we are in a fight or flight mode and we wish if we did not have to deal with the other parts. But life doesn’t work that way. A very beautiful line from a hindi Bollywood song goes like “ Jeene k liye socha hi nahi dard sambhalne honge” which means I was unknown of the fact that in order to live, I will have to face the hardships and pain too.
But eventually, you learn to get over it, and move on; come to a place where you look back and feel proud of yourself that you overcame it. Believe me, you'll grow out of it and that is all that matters.