I wonder if I am the touch me not plant because somedays even the slightest care and sweet gesture make me more of a simp but somedays I am the tree with firm roots that won’t collapse even after being hit by thunders of love (not to forget that it feels good but you just don’t find that your type). Then I ask myself what is a better and self constructive way - to have your emotions on your sleeves or emotionally being at the deepest end of the Mariana Trench? I don’t know the answer to this and neither do I have any justification for how I feel at times. It’s just they keep flowing to a point where I feel drained out of energy and start self-negative talk. Honestly, it has got me nowhere but loops of overthinking so rather what I do now is write a daily journal with a ‘You’re doing so good' and an ‘I love you Dhwani’ at the end.
There’s no point because I won’t reread the entries. Or will I? Yaa, I know I will. Every time I turn pages to make a new entry I look at those I love you(s) and words that make me feel my worth. It just feels good. Positive self-talk nurtures a positive attitude towards self and helps to deal with external stressors."